Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 November 2011

image for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Are Furious At Ann Coulter Who Says Brad and Angie Don't Have Kids They Have A Zoo
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's three-year-old twins, Knox Kabob and Vivienne Sushi. (Photo by Bristol Palin).

LOS ANGELES - Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and their half dozen kids flew from their mansion in Provence, France to LAX so the kids could ride on the world famous Santa Monica Pier carousel.

Brad said that last week he had told the children that if they were good he and Angie would take them on a trip.

He added that they were nowhere good, but after their nannies, maids, cooks, and even the two gardeners begged them to please get the kids out of the house for a while he and Angie decided to take a trip to America.

According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres, it is no secret that the Pitt-Jolie kids are probably the biggest celebrity brats easily beating out the Jon and Kate Gosselin 8 by a few lengths.

Zeppelin stated that whereas the Gosselin kids are prone to milder pranks such as smearing each other with mushy dog food, putting crayons in the microwave and hitting the 5 minute defrost button, and pouring Fruit Loops Breakfast Cereal in each others underwear they are nothing compared to the Pitt-Jolie heathens.

Seven-year-old Pax Pitt-Jolie has been known to pour beer in their cat's water bowl. Ten-year-old Maddox has taken some of Jolie's white bikini thongs and made them into French flags, and five-year-old Shiloh who always dresses as a boy, has been known to purposely go number one in the pool, the jacuzzi, and on the three-year-old twins Knox Kabob and Vivienne Sushi.

All of these antics have been widely reported in various entertainment publications and it has resulted in the GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter remarking on the Sean Hannity Show that Brad and Angie do not have kids, they have a zoo.

She said that she would rather have a python, a rhino, two wildebeests, and a sex-starved kangaroo over for dinner than the pack of Pitt-Jolie brats.

When Brad and Angie heard about Coulter's remarks they both exploded. Angie said that Ann "The Bland" Coulter is just mad because she does not have kids and won't be having any because what man in his right mind would ever willingly want to stick his dipstick (taco-tickler) in her ugly bearded clam (horse collar), (i.e. lap donut).

Brad added that Ann Coulter is about as sexy as a clump of bacteria. He went on to say that "Horse Face" Coulter is so coyote ugly that she even makes that old space alien-looking Joan Rivers look a little 'doable.'

In other news. Word out of Central America is that the governments of Costa Rica, Guatemala, and Honduras have all pitched in and are sending a check to financially troubled Greece in the amount of $18,907.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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