Written by Stephen Prime
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Tuesday, 8 November 2011

image for New Dragon's Den - Homeless Edition announced

The popular TV show in which members of the public pitch their business ideas and plead for funding, only to have their dreams savaged and their hopes dashed on channel whatever has decided to follow the trend of other popular shows to keep its content fresh by broadcasting specially themed editions. However, in a controversial turn, instead of getting B-list celebs who work for free in order to boost their profile, DD has decided to bring people in off the streets to pitch their business ideas.

The homeless people will not be given showers or calculators before going before the dragons, so they will have to bring a sharp proposal. Not all of the participants will even have a business idea, although many of the homeless have been selected because of their bankrupt status having been caused by bad ventures in the past. It is also rumoured that there are even some former DD participants who would have been able to keep their businesses from being liquidised with a minor investment from the dragons.

'The idea behind the show is basically to see if the homeless have learnt anything about business on the streets' said Terry Frignhed who was behind the concept. 'Not all the business proposals will be legal either, and I know a couple of guys who run a crack-den are wanting to build more sanitary conditions for the hoes who service the junkies, as a lot of them are producing HIV babies.'

Heartless Dragons' Den Dragon, Theo Paphiti said "I'm looking forward to this one, I've always loathed the needy, so this is a great chance for me to really let rip with my nastiest put downs." One of the first contestants is rumoured to be a former tenant of Mr Paphiti's rental flats who was evicted for complaining that the landlord owed him a discount on the rent owing to the constant noise of large suitcases of money being dragged up and down the stairs to the penthouse suite.

Homeless charity Shelter has already condemned the new themed show as 'heartless, demeaning and since most homeless people don't have televisions, pure entertainment'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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