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Monday, 7 November 2011

image for "X-Factor is not a fix" confirm Bookies as they refuse bet on Misha B
Simon Cowell's dressing room table. Thye wigs are fake but the heads are real.

Claims that the X-Factor is a fix have been hotly refuted by Simon Cowell and the self-important and always-nailing-it judges of the 'competition'.

Despite bookies refusing to take bets on Misha B or Marcus, who will be the two finalists in this year's competition, the judges say that to accuse X-Factor of being fixed is like saying Osama Bin Laden was a terrorist.

Or that black is the opposite of white.

Speaking from his bank account, Simon Cowell was said to be so shocked with the revelation that his hair went flat. He said firstly there was the rumour that the judges were fighting amongst themselves just for the publicity.

He added that just because the judges fight coincided with the huge drop in not only the television audience, but also in the all-important premium phone call-paying voters, was no reason to assume the judges fight was a fix.

"I personally arranged the judges fight, so there is no way could it be called a fix!" he cried into a £50 note. "And just because I'm making sure the acts that I don't think will make me a fortune from signing them as they are voted off, does not mean the competition is a fix. I mean One Direction and Susan Boyle never won, but they still made me a fortune, so that wasn't a fix, was it?"

"Although I am sorry those dancers kept winning my competitions, as I don't make much from their singles.

"In fact, I make nothing at all."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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