Written by Karen Fish
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Monday, 7 November 2011

image for Kim Kardashian Helps Justin Bieber Prepare for DNA Test

Kim Kardashian and her friend Justin Bieber are both involved in litigation. It is unclear if the matters can be settled before tomorrow when the asteroid YU 55 splits the Earth in two and sends us all hurtling into a gigantic black hole but the question does arise: If we all get sucked into a black hole tomorrow does that mean that our holy white light spirits cannot escape into the colorful tunnel of light into Heaven? Stevie Williams was unavailable for comment.

It hasn't been a great week for football or basketball coaches. Yesterday Kim Kardashian flew to Minnesota to tell her husband Kris Humphries that she is divorcing him. The unhappy couple met with their Pastor Joel Johnson the brother of Jimmy Johnson to discuss a possible reconciliation and a four hour special entitled "Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Renew their Vows." Apparently the couple is concerned that they may not get into the tunnel to Heaven having taken the name of the Lord God in Vain a mere two months ago in front of a world wide audience.

Meanwhile Kim Kardashian's friend Justin Bieber is involved in a paternity action with Mariah Yeater. Justin Bieber has already found a lab to do the DNA test. Kim Kardashian tweeted her friend Justin Bieber and said "Why a lab, I'll help you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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