Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 5 November 2011

image for X-Factor - Frankie Cocozza To Get The Chop
Some Fish Who Don't Care Either Way - Another Classic Example Of Sloppy Captioneering

SEN can exclusively reveal that this week's X-Factor chop victim will be Frankie Cocozza, the little Justin Bieber look a little likey with the weird haircut, and a nice line in chat with the ladies.

At least, according to him.

Insiders (Again!) relate that Gary Barlow is getting increasingly frustrated with young Frankie, as the boy continually fails to deliver the goods.

"The bottom line is that Frankie can't really sing," an X-Factor staffer said. "Which can be a bit problematic when he's on a talent show promoting singers. I think the judges are getting a bit pissed off with him."

And nobody wants to get in Gary Barlow's bad books.

The Take That singer is notorious in showbiz circles for The Barlow Curse - reportedly rooted in the mystic rituals of Voodoo and Santeria, which some observers claim to have been activated in the past when certain individuals have 'irked' the 'I Want You Back For Good' star.

Among alleged victims are Osama Bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi, and even fellow 'Take Thatter' - Robbie Williams.

"Upset Gary at your peril," one insider (Oh no - not another fucking insider! How many are there? For God's sake!) told reporters. "Frankie Cocozza is a dead duck. Kitty Brucknell will hang in there for a bit longer, because everybody hates her, a bit like Katie Waissel last year. And Johnny Robinson will make it because he has the support of the gay mafia - Skoob and CJ and Pinxit and Lynton and all their transvestite buddies from that website, TheSpoof.com but Cocozza's had his chips."

When SEN's Buffty Ginslinger asked X-Factor judge Tulisa, out of N-Dubz, for her take on events, she said:

"Just go away and leave me alone. You're spooky and you freak me out."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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