Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 November 2011

image for Kristen Stewart, Scarlett Johansson, and Steven Tyler To Star In "The Vavamooming Vampires of Venice Beach"
Kristen Stewart as Lacey Fellegetti in the film "The Vavavooming Vampires of Venice Beach."

HOLLYWOOD - Lion's Face Pictures in association with Tri Moon Films will soon begin production on Sheboygan Saddlewood's The Vavavooming Vampires of Venice Beach.

The first half of the film is based on The Vampire Playpen, the novel by noted Bulgarian author Pankovo "Dimples" Gabropol who is married to the reigning Miss North Carolina, Bonnie Bell Fitzibello.

The motion picture will star Kristen Stewart, Scarlett Johansson, and Steven Tyler and will be filmed on location in Redondo Beach which greatly resembles Venice Beach down to the cloud-reaching fast food signs for Pizza Doll, Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck Chicken Shack, and Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburgers.

Saddlewood noted that Stewart and Johansson will be starring as the Fellegetti sisters who travel from Brooklyn to Venice Beach in search of fun, fame, fortune, and frolickment.

Lacey Fellegetti (Stewart), who sports a tattoo of Derek Hough's likeness on her upper right thigh, soon falls in love with Giancarlo, the eldest son of a retired rock and roll icon Jeremiah Hooktucker portrayed by Steven Tyler.

Meanwhile Silky Fellegetti (Johansson), who until recently had a tremendous crush on Patrick Schwarzenegger-Shriver, soon falls in love with Fabrizio, the youngest son of Hooktucker.

But little do the Hooktucker boys know that Lacey and Silky are infamous vampires who were sent to the Left Coast to wreak havoc on unsuspecting young males by the evil, hateful, and trans fat addicted Emma The Evil Empress of The Intergalactic Lactose Intolerant Village of Vox Populi.

The second part of the movie is based on the novel by Detroit native Horace Humpmeister entitled Dragon Repellents, Scourges In Training, and Mythical Maiden Bras.

BEHIND THE SCENES. Mel Gibson was originally to have portrayed Jeremiah Hooktucker but he was replaced by Steven Tyler after he (Gibson) made some sexually explicit comments about K-Stew's and Scar-Jo's tata's.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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