Written by Shrave
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Friday, 4 November 2011

image for Frodo Baggins Finally Loses His Virginity
Hobbit fan fav Nickelback shown above rockin' it out on the 3rd floor of Club Ent One.

The afterparty was great. After the afterparty was even better. Well, at least for 50-year old former virgin, Frodo Baggins.

In a pretty dramatic finish to a celebration of S-Day, or victory over Sauron Day, Frodo Baggins was caught in the act of doing something incredibly inappropriate with one of the 14 Eagles in the Undying Lands.

The incident began on what was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, Ents, Wizards and some Eagles were celebrating the defeat of Sauron and their newly acquired immortality. Invitations to several hundred hardcore fans were also sent out, though immortality was not promised to them. Undying Land club promoters threw a party at Club Ent One, a 10-level "poppin" dance club.

According to party-goers the dancing lasted 12 Middle Earth hours. ME hours are exactly the same as regular Earth hours.

The underlying issue is, what was Frodo doing and why? The only detail necessary is the positive you-know-what test that the Eagle had the next morning. Logistically speaking, no one is quite sure how this could happen. Wild life experts were also clueless.

It is rumored that Frodo answered the call of hundreds of hardcore Lord of the Rings fans and impregnated an Eagle. "Many of us wrote on forums and blogs about how we thought that the Eagles should have done more to help Frodo get to Mount freakin Doom," said fan David Murphy, whose LOTR forum screen-name is David Murphy. "Instead, Frodo was left to walk all the way there with a fatass by his side. That's kinda d-baggish, if you know what I mean. So all of us hardcore fans got together and wrote a letter to Frodo telling him, 'Screw those Eagles!'"

Little did they know, those three simple words probably changed the course of post-important stuff Middle Earth history.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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