Targeting a Winter 2016 opening date, 20th Century Fox has announced preliminary plans to reproduce the Spider-man series in Wingdings font. The film will be independent of the 2002 version as well as the upcoming 2012 version with the guy who plays Mark Zuckerberg's "friend" in The Social Network.
Quentin Tarantino has been chosen by Fox to direct the movie, as his personality probably closely resembles what most people believe a Wingdings-type personality would be like.
"Hollywood has lost its touch with the fans," says Tarantino. "It's just not producing original pieces anymore. Books, shows, magazines and even older movies are being remade using Courier New."
"The key challenge will be the editing part," Quentin added. "Our editors may not be able to understand exactly what they're editing but we hope that by 2014 or 2015, Wingdings will become common knowledge. I am actually not worried about the acting. Worse comes to worst the actors can just paraphrase the words from the 2002 or the 2012 versions. It'll be that easy!"
Producers believe the new 2016 Spider-man will bring a fresh new look at the classic superhero. All in Wingdings, the story will be spicier and the characters will have that extra Golden Globe edge. No one is sure how but people are taking their word for it.
"In 2002, the nerds had their day. Next year, the emo kids will get their chance. In 2016, we'll find out just which group of attention deprived Americans will get to climb the social ladder," said a statement on MSN's Wonderwall.