Written by Alvin Taveras
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Monday, 31 October 2011

ALBANY - There are few privileged children in America and even fewer who have the chance to live in the whitest house of America with a lawn large enough to film a White House reality show if the incumbent president's children actually used it.

On the eve of Halloween, Chelsea Clinton and Jenna Bush, both whom are married and thought it would be fun to dress up as zombie-Gaddhafi, have announced on the White House lawn which they grew up on, that they wanted to get married to each other while staying married to their present husbands. I'm not too sure about this but I'm pretty sure this is called polygamy.

Granted, their parents were more furious about the fact that they would leave their parents' political party of choice if they went ahead with this marriage than respecting the institution of monogamy marriage, both Chelsea and Jenna agree that this is the new America, the new America that seeks out gun fights, that seeks out loopholes for self advantage, and renounces parent teaching even if it came from founding fathers.

When we spoke to Jenna Bush about the monogamous tradition that the founding fathers left for her she adamantly insisted that those founding fathers, whether great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grand parents could not envision a world where Facebook would impose on their privacy and games like SimCity would be harder to rule than actual countries.

Although there are few American children privileged as much as they are nowadays, though Sasha and Malia Obama have had their fair share of sleepovers, Chelsea and Jenna are among the few privileged children of America that had everything handed to them like they were more important than the world's greatest rock-stars. And consequentially, this surprising announcement follows their heritage respectfully.

The senior Bush and Clintons have been biting their nails ever since their respective daughters approached them with this new and shocking announcement. In fact, Hillary Clinton lost more sleep over this announcement then when she was shocked she lost the presidency to the first African American in humanity history.

In related news, Sasha and Malia Obama wore Chelsea Clinton and Jenna Bush for Halloween. David Axelrod assured them they would get more candy if they looked different.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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