Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 November 2011

image for The Sparks Fly In The Christina Aguilera Vs. Kelly Osbourne Feud
The Christina Aguilera and Kelly Osbourne Feud is starting to really heat up!

LOS ANGELES - Kelly Osbourne has been hanging around Joan Rivers for too long. The little pixie haired daughter of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne has really fired off some angry remarks at Christina Aguilera.

Kelly recently told Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors that Aguilera has gotten so fat that she is having to wear Kirstie Alley's old clothes.

Osbourne added that Christina's new motto is E Pluribus Bring Me Food Products.

When Christina heard what Osbourne was saying she grinned and said that Kelly has been passed around by guys more times than a salt shaker at a popcorn party.

She pointed out that Kelly is so stupid that she doesn't even know that half of her tattoos are misspelled.

Aguilera also remarked that Kelly's lisp makes Barney Frank's seem normal. She then said that she really feels sorry for little Kelly because the poor girl has all the charm of a speed bump.

Kelly said that at least she doesn't forget the words to her songs to which Christina replied, "Well that's because the flaky bitch doesn't have any songs and what exactly does Osbourne do besides walk around looking like a dumbass version of Lindsay Lohan.

And the Christina Aguilera - Kelly Osbourne Feud will no doubt go on like that song from the Titanic.

Christina and Kelly are both scheduled to appear on an upcoming episode of The View.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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