Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 November 2011

image for The Cause of The LeAnn Rimes - Kelly Clarkson Feud
LeAnn Rimes says that she heard that Kelly Clarkson has cut back on her Gummy Bear addiction from 95 a day to 90 a day.

NASHVILLE - LeAnn Rimes has lately been in the news more because of her tremendous weight loss than for anything to do with singing.

The country music songstress has admitted to getting down to 67 pounds. She says that her husband Eddie Cibrian, who starred in the recently cancelled brand new television show The Playboy Club likes her toothpick look.

LeAnn says that Eddie tells her that it makes her look European. Ling Chow Rangoon, a reporter with iRumors has stated that LeAnn actually looks Ethiopian except that she's white, talks with a twang, and loves to wear gingham.

Rangoon recently caught up with Rimes at a diet pill shop in downtown Nashville. She asked LeAnn about her feud with Kelly Clarkson.

LeAnn told Miss Rangoon that she did not want to talk about it. Ling Chow then told Rimes that Clarkson had said that LeAnn has gotten so skinny that if wasn't for her Adam's apple that the poor girl would have no figure whatsoever.

She also told her that Kelly had said that with all of the money that LeAnn saves on food you would think that she could afford to go visit a hair salon at least once a year or so.

Rimes fired back by saying that Kelly is one to be talking since everyday she tries to eat at least two items from each of the 40 basic food groups.

She also pointed out that Kelly is so fat that her love handles have love handles. She then added that Clarkson has bingo wings, bingo thighs, and a bingo pubic region.

Rangoon asked LeAnn what caused her feud with Kelly. She got a puzzled look on her face and said that she could not remember. She grinned and said that it was probably due to the fact that Kelly has never been with a guy and she is just one frustrated little old country gal.

In other news. Japanese fishermen in the Sea of Japan have reported seeing the Loch Ness Monster. When they were asked by a reporter if they drink much, they replied, "Every friggin chance we get."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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