Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 27 October 2011

image for Johnny Depp Star of 'Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' Reveals Why He Has Been Hitting The Bottle Pretty Hard Lately
A replica of "The Black Pearl' which Depp had built and which he gave to Penelope Cruz as a friendship gift.

HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Pirates of The Caribbean series Johnny Depp was recently seen in quite a drinking stupor at The Ha Ha Ha Lounge in Santa Monica.

Depp who has been on and off the wagon perhaps more times than Ward Bond on the old TV western series Wagon Train was seen in the company of several unnamed friends who were dressed as buccaneers (pirates).

According to the manager of the Ha Ha Ha Lounge, Depp, who was wearing a Detroit Lions football helmet, was overheard telling one of his friends that ever since his last movie he has been mistaken for Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones on at least two dozen times or as Depp puts it, "24 of 2, 2 dozen of the other."

Depp's unnamed friend revealed that this mistaken identity has caused Johnny D. to become very depressed and to really hit the bottle heavily lately.

Keith Richards portrays Captain Teague Sparrow the Republican father of Depp's character Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of The Caribbean movies.

Depp recently appeared on The View and told Barbara Walters how uncanny it is that Richards looks more like his own father and mother than even his actual father and mother do.

Walters asked him if his father and mother looked alike. Depp rolled his eyes and replied, that yes they do just like he thought that he had made it clear to her in his previous remark.

He then grinned, gently took Walter's hand, and asked her if she drinks much.

Meanwhile back at the lounge, the manager, identified as DaMario Battlefoot, told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that Depp had been putting away the Rum & Cokes as if they were M&Ms.

Battlefoot said that at one point Depp had one glass of Rum & Coke in each hand and one that he was actually balancing on his head.

Friends are truly concerned that the three-times Oscar nominated actor could end up like Lindsay Lohan and find himself confined to house arrest.

Depp is scheduled to fly to Osaka, Japan in two weeks, where he will begin filming his new motion picture The Keith Richards Story.

Taffeta Kixx and iRumors will stay with the story and bring you any sobering developments that may occur.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

1 20 5 4
78 readers are online right now!

Go to top