Written by Alvin Taveras
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Topics: Justin Bieber

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

HOLLYWOOD - In an interview on 60 minutes Justin Bieber told Andy Rooney that there's only a few things he enjoys in life immensely at seventeen years old, a clean shower, sockless walking, and breaking up fights.

The moment Justin Bieber mentioned breaking up fights his manager raised his hand as if he was trying to warn Bieber not to speak another word. Unfortunately for Justin, if there's anyone that will capitalize on this vulnerable moments it's for sure, Andy Rooney.

From that point forward the interview went sour and was arguably the worst public relations disaster that has happened to a pop-star in the month of October, five days from Halloween, on a CBS news related show.

"Justin," Andy asks, "what about this business of breaking up fights?"

After Justin caught his managers body language, he said, ""O, well, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't….."

"Go right ahead sonny, boy. You're in good ol' hands," responds Rooney.

Then Justin proceeds and shares stunning revelations that he has tackled people to the ground and chopped them several times to snap them out of lunacy. He adds that he even has been asked to be the unofficial student guard by the principal of his grade school, Charm Grade School, to help raise a viable deterrent to the kids who seek for trouble. Though, Bieber was being offered free lunch Fridays.

And until this day, Justin has been breaking up fights. However, we must admit, at his stardom level, we don't fault him for carrying a power ranger mask at night to disguise his greatness and trade it for his other greatness name, Starlight Sratbright.

Warning: Children should not try to be heroes this Halloween.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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