Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 24 October 2011

image for Alice Roberts Viewing Figures Set To Plummet As Fans Switch Off "Origins Of Us"
Part of some humans' diet - but no reason to get your kit off.

BBC chiefs are fearing a huge drop in viewing figures for their latest Alice Roberts vehicle, Origins Of Us.

The second episode of the three part story of human evolution airs tonight but following an angry response to last week's first part, BBC2 executives are worried that the anatomist's fans will be tuning out.

"We had a phone call and at least two e-mails complaining," said an Origins insider. "100 per cent of them concerned Dr Roberts's continued insistence on keeping her clothes on - even in the hottest conditions."

Dr Roberts's fan club spokesman, Bernard Frot, said: "Yes, we're all very disappointed. There she was, talking about the origin of our species and she didn't even try to emulate our ancestors' sartorial habits.

"Even when scientists attached sensors to her gluteus maximus she said to the camera - quite pointedly, I thought - that they would not be filming that process. So we didn't even get a glimpse of that pert little rump!

"I'm pretty sure our members have had enough and may not tune in tonight - after all, what chance is there for her to go au naturel in a programme about the development of the human diet.

"Come on Alice - Dr Roberts. Stop playing with our feelings, you tease!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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