Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 24 October 2011

image for Rob Pattinson Says That Taylor Lautner Told Him That Miley Cyrus' Lap Dances Are The Best In The West!
Two young up and coming Hollywood starlets, Lollipop Wildstick (L) and Lexie Amaretto (R). (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

MALIBU BEACH - Two of the stars from the Twilight Series, Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, recently hosted a bachelor party for a very good friend of theirs who is getting married in a month.

RPattz beach home The Vampire Villa was the scene of the elaborate party that was attended by about a dozen of their best friends along with some young, up and coming Hollywood starlets who are on the verge of breaking into the movie business.

According to an inside source who provided some info to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle, one of the young starlets identified as Lollipop Wildstick, 21, showed up to the party wearing a bathing suit whose bottom was basically the size of a standard Las Vegas playing card.

Miss Wildstick made it a point to swoon all over every male at the party and Boo Boo Stewart, who had been invited by Lautner suggested that they use Lollipop as an hors d'oeuvres holder.

Lautner and Pattinson both liked the idea as did Lollipop and so she laid down on the coffee table and RPattz placed several bowls filled with pretzels, macadamia nuts, olives, and escargot on her stomach, crotch area, and thighs.

Music was provided by a local rock band called Tarzan & The Tarzana Vineyard Vampires. As it turned out the keyboardist had once played in Miley Cyrus' band but he was let go due to his involvement in The Notorious Counterfeit Guitar Pick Scandal back in September of 2010.

After the party was over and everyone had left, Taylor and Rob sat around drinking and talking about all of the girls that they had been with.

RPattz said that his favorite girlfriend of all is Kristen Stewart. He revealed to Taylor that the thing that he really liked about K-Stew was that during their horizontal hula sessions (mattress bumping) that she would yell out louder than any girl that he had ever hit a home run with.

Lautner grinned as he told RPattz that his favorite girlfriend is Miley Cyrus. Rob asked him what made her more special than the other dozens of girls he'd been with.

Taylor took a sip from his bottle of Wild Turkey and said that Miley's sensuously animated lap dances are positively the best in the West.

"Gotcha dude." [FIST BUMP].

In other news. Walmart is asking that any customer who purchased a Nancy Grace Bobble Head Doll please return it for a full refund due to the fact that the doll's right boob is showing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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