Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 22 October 2011

image for Tom Robinson Band To Reissue 'Glad To Be Gay' In Honour Of Spoofers
Coming Out Of A Closet Near You!

70's 'new wave' rockers, the Tom Robinson Band, of 2-4-6-8-Motorway fame, are to reissue their classic track 'Glad To be Gay' in tribute to an intrepid if somewhat ragtag band of Spoof writers, who are apparently as gay as a box of pink marshmallows - even though most of them weren't initially aware of it.

"It's a fantastic gesture from the lad Robinson," declared newly crowned 'King Of Queens' Colonel Juanita Juan. "I've heard they've even added an extra vocal to it. Where Tom Robinson sings, "Sing if you're glad to be gay," they've added the line "You Spoofers!" It's a fantastic gesture from a lovely bloke. And a fitting tribute to our recently discovered gayness."

Dorking Review contributor, Iain B told reporters that he'd never realised that he was actually gay, until he discovered an app for it on his iPhone.

"I've never stopped looking back since," he added.

Ellis Ian 'Gracie' Fields was slightly more philosophical about the tribute, describing how it came as something of a shock to him to discover that he's gay. Although the fluffy pink carpet slippers were a possible indicator.

Another Spoofer who was taken aback, was 'Lucille' Lynton, who has been busy moving house in Paris for the past month.

"I always suspected that I may be a bit of a pinko," he admitted. "We were packing all our stuff up a few days ago and I had three boxes of bodybuilding mags. I should have known really. I don't even do bodybuilding."

Pinxit stated that he was flattered by the reissue of 'Glad To Be Gay' as a tribute, although he preferred Frankie Goes To Hollywood's 'Relax!'

Playing a game of pool in a Chichester pub when we tracked them down, Gay Arm and Martin Littlecock appeared well pleased by news of the tribute.

"I never knew I was gay," Arm said, grinning widely. "Wait till I tell the wife and kids about this! They'll be made up!"

"I think I'll make a YouTube vid in drag, with some spaghetti or something in it," said Littlecock. "I'm sort of warming to this gay thing, although I'm never quite sure what to do with all the crumbs when I'm finished."

Fellow Dorking Review contributor and fell walker, Erskin Quint, was unavailable for comment as he was out on the fells, stalking some wild bees with an elk.

Spoof writer, Gay Larry said it was reassuring that there was at least some honesty and decency remaining on the sinking website, and extended a warm welcome to his new family.

The single is available online from 59p. Proceeds go to the Dorking Review Writers Alcoholic Beverages Foundation.

Gore as we eat it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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