Written by Steddyeddy
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Thursday, 20 October 2011

image for Simon Cowell announces he is splitting up
Some silly cow celebrates with another tramp stamp

Hot on the heels of the recent announcement by Westlife, it was announced today that Simon Cowell is splitting up.

It would appear that Simon says "put your hands on the dial (premium only please)" is to be no more.

At a press conference held in the back of an X-Factor truck, Simon Cowell stated that he can no longer take the pressure of running backwards and forwards to the bank with all his loot.

He said that the first thing he is doing tomorrow is returning his teeth to the shop where he got them from and then going to the barber for a proper haircut.

He added that all the X-Factor props, including the big names that hang over the judges table, the red buzzer, the firwork effects and Louis Walsh are all being sold off for charity, or as Tulisa from N-Dubz would say, "char-eh-eeee".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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