Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 20 October 2011

image for Lindsay "But I'm Above The Law" Logan's Probation Is Revoked And The Celebrity Diva Is Taken Into Custody In Handcuffs
Lindsay Lohan could be heading back to The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women. (Photo courtesy of Paris Hilton).

LOS ANGELES - It appears that finally one of the judges hearing the many and varied cases of one Lindsay Lohan has had her fill of the way that the little misguided prima donna thinks that she can just do whatever the hell she wants and get away with it.

Los Angeles County Judge Stephanie "Sticks and Stones" Sautner said that she is sending the fake blonde starlet the message that she is not above the law.

Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Judge Sautner is letting Miss Lohan know that just because she has a famous name and not a name like Ramona Fernandez, or LaQuanta Washington, or Chow Sue Ming, that, that's no longer going to be a guarantee that she will not have to do the time for doing the crime.

Lohan speaking through her attorney told the judge that she has to take into consideration that no matter what, she is still a Hollywood celebrity and with that come certain inherent privileges that have been handed down from celebrity to celebrity since the days of Jane Russell, Lana Turner, and Rita Hayworth.

Lindsay stated that there is no way in the world that she should be put in the same sub-standard facility as common women who shot people, robbed convenience stores, and printed up counterfeit five dollar bills.

She went on to say that she knows that the American people will not sit idly by and let a very good looking, sexy, talented white girl go to prison simply because she just happened to steal a $2,500 necklace and then denied it while the act was clearly captured on four store surveillance cameras.

Lohan still denies that it was her in the video. She even denied that the DNA was hers and told the arresting officer that a lot of people have the same DNA.

She said that she knows for a fact that her, Paris Hilton, and Tila Tequila all have the same exact DNA, so the DNA test results are inconclusive and prove absolutely nothing.

The judge initially set Lohan's bond at $100,000 but after hearing that Lohan had made that DNA comment she raised it to $125,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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