Populist ardent feminist and Australian, Germaine Greer has won Belle Magazine's Housewife of the Year, much to the annoyance of Prunella Scales, who has won it for the last seventeen years consecutively.
"We feel Ms Scales has contributed all she can to the cause of the housewife," said Belle editor, Earnest Tolls. "The time is right for a new breed of housewife, and we think this is epitomised by Germaine Greer."
According to Tolls, Ms Greer is capable, determined, in control of her femininity and the ideal role model for housewives everywhere. Germaine is the only famous person called Germaine, and is seventy-two without any children.
"I'm not sure why you fuckers picked me," said Greer as she collected her award. "I've got a maid. I've not done any housework since 1984."
The award is given to the woman who has performed housewifely duties during the year in the opinion of the judging panel.
"I'm chuffed they've given me the award," said Greer afterwards, because it proves I'm not all about women's freedom, equality and the end of uncomfortable bras. I also stand for a clean house, well brought up kids and economical shopping. Apparently."
Prunella Scales, for her part, is livid.
"I've been winning this award since it was created," she fumed. "How dare they? I'll be ending my subscription for sure. They must have an empty space between their ears if they've given it to Germaine, as lovely as she is."
Ms Scales is the only famous woman called Prunella, and is currently seventy-nine with fourteen grandchildren and seven great grand children.
"I don't think I'm going to be making much more jam and cleaning the door keys," she said. "Not if I'm not going to win the award for doing it the best."
For her part, Germaine does not intend to keep the award.
"I was going to give it to Prunella," she said. "She's a gap on her book case. But I've seen this You Tube Video about Martin Shuttlecock, and I'm telling you know, his wife deserves this award."