Written by Darwin

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Topics: Celebrities

Sunday, 16 October 2011

The new giant Celeb Super Cannon, which blasts annoying celebrities into space, has been hailed a big hit after successfully ridding the world of the UK's current Big Brother contestants. The group of 15 men and women join dozens of other reality show participants who have been blasted into orbit over the last few weeks. Currently there are 198 celebrities orbiting Earth.

The cannon, which is located in Geneva, Switzerland, was created after CERN abandoned its research into the fundamental questions of physics in order to find the solution to a more pressing concern for mankind - how to rid the world of irritating celebrities. To this end, CERN dismantled the Large Hadron Collider and from its parts constructed the Celeb Super Cannon.

From next month the Cannon's operators will conduct a weekly vote to determine who will be the next celebrity to be launched into space. The choices for the first week are Robbie Williams, Britney Spears, Peter Andre, Paris Hilton and Justin Bieber.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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