Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 17 October 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Wants Kirstie Alley To Be His 'Cougar Goddess'
This is a photo of Kirstie's pet snake 'Tango' which was a gift from Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

SHERMAN OAKS, California - Charlie Sheen recently commented that ever since Kirstie Alley appeared on Dancing With The Stars that she has really lost an awful lot of weight.

He stated that the once humongous actress has lost a total of 100 pounds and although she is still a little overweight she doesn't look bad, especially considering that the actress is 60.

Charlie, alias "The Space Cadet" recently told Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that after getting a glimpse of Kirstie Alley on several Internet sites that he is seriously thinking about calling her up and asking her to become his "Cougar Goddess."

Alley reportedly lost a lot of her weight due to the encouragement of her Dancing With The Stars dance instructor and rumored horizontal hula partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Maksim, who is known as "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" has said that he was amazed how limber Kirstie's body actually is considering that she had not really engaged in any mattress bumping in quite a long time.

Chmerkovskiy noted that after Kirstie placed third and the show ended she started dating hip hop artist Shancie Boyd, who at 21, was young enough to be her grandson, assuming of course that Alley had a black grandson.

Kirstie finally ended up dumping Shancie for several reasons which she said included the fact that he had never heard of the Beatles, pink lawn flamingos, or President Richard "Tricky Dicky" Nixon.

When Alley was told that Charlie Sheen wanted her to be his "Cougar Goddess" she simply smiled and whispered that she's heard that "The Space Cadet" is not as good in the sis-boom-bahhh department as he thinks he is.

She shook her head, as she top a sip from her bottle of Diet A&W Root Beer, and told Miss Zeppelin that maybe, if Carlitos (Charlie) plays his cards right she may allow him to be one of her boy toys.

In a Charlie Sheen related story. Sarah Palin recently called up Sean Hannity and told him that the rumor that she has a tattoo with Charlie Sheen's name on an intimate part of her body is positively false.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

9 20 7 15
79 readers are online right now!

Go to top