Written by Alvin Taveras
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Saturday, 15 October 2011

image for Ellen DeGeneres to yell all next week at her staff in homage to Steve Jobs

BURBANK, CA - Many of the staff members at the Ellen DeGeneres Show had been dismayed the last couple weeks ever since Steve Jobs passed away.

One guest from the show told us that Ellen was equally distraught, "It was noticeable especially in Ellen because she slowed down in her exercises and dancing

Although Ellen still surprised people the way Ellen does, others were concerned about her giveaways. Many viewers referenced how Oprah's absence leaves them with no other chance for free prizes.

A spokesperson for Warner Bros. told us how "proud they were of Ellen DeGeneres" and that she is "extremely kind to consider Steve Jobs and his contribution to humanity."

When he was pressed to clarify which contribution did she mean, he threw water at our faces and walked off.

Close friends of Ellen said that she always spoke about wanting to know how it feels to be "mean to people" but she also loved talking about Apple products.

Either way, one thing we do know is that Ellen is caring.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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