Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 October 2011

image for Brad Pitt Reveals That He Has A Tremendous Crush On Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez says she can hardly wait to be single and start dating up a storm. (Photo by Ryan Seacrest).

MANHATTAN - Brad Pitt recently flew from his home in Provence, France to New York City to meet with a realtor about purchasing some land in Colorado.

Pitt, whose baseball movie Moneyball is currently ranked at number four was interviewed by Cahoots Wyoming with Silver Screen Showcase Magazine.

Brad told Wyoming that it was great to get away from Angie's nagging ways and the half dozen, semi-out-of-control younguns.

Wyoming asked him if he was pleased with his performance in Moneyball. Pitt smiled, took a sip from his Tequila Sunrise, and said that he was extremely pleased and added that he expects to get an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, and the unofficial award for Best Smiler.

He was asked how this movie was different from all of his previous movies. Brad shook his head and replied, "No skirts."

He raised his eyebrows and said that he really missed not having a leading lady so that he could have had some lascivious and licentious sexy scenes instead of just the sweaty baseball field scenes he had in the movie.

Wyoming asked him which leading lady he would like to work with. Brad did not miss a beat and replied Jennifer Lopez. He blushed like a schoolboy with a crush on his young, sultry English teacher.

Pitt told Wyoming that he has always had a big crush on the stunningly attractive J.Lo and now that she is divorcing Marc Anthony that crush has gotten even bigger.

When asked what exactly he finds attractive about Lopez he grinned like the Canadian cat that swallowed the Costa Rican canary and said her [EXPLETIVE DELETED] her [EXPLETIVES DELETED] and her [EXPLETIVE DELETED].

Wyoming told him that he did not blame him but asked him what Angelina (Jolie) would think about him making those sexually erotic remarks. Pitt grinned and said that he had no intention of showing her a copy of Silver Screen Showcase Magazine.

He then gave Cahoots Wyoming a high five, a fist bump, and two free passes to Moneyball, and said that it had been a pleasure talking to him.

SIDENOTE: Wyoming was able to contact Jennifer Lopez and he told her what Brad Pitt had said about her. She giggled and said that she would like to invite him to her house where she will cook him a good old-fashioned Puerto Rican dinner which she will follow with her own special "Deluxe J.Lo Desert."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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