Future Queen of England, Kate Middleton, was relieved to discover she wasn't pregnant after getting a craving for peanut butter that saw her work her way through half a jar of Waitrose Smooth.
"I had a massive urge to have a bit of peanut butter," said Kate. "I dipped my finger in, and that was it. Before I knew it, I was half way down the jar and feeling a little sick."
After peeing on a stick Kate took a pregnancy test, which came back negative.
"I think it's a little early for Willy and me to have a baby," she said. "We've got a lot more practising to do first. And also, I've not managed to drink my own body weight in wine, yet."
Kate is pleased about the proposed changed to succession to the throne.
"If Davey and Nicky do change the succession law," she said, "then it solves one of Willy's fears. He was worried about us having a girl first, and then a boy. That would leave little Lizabeth feeling left out. Seeing how this is the twenty-first century, it's about time that was changed. I think Mummy-in-law has done a good job, don't you? That proves women are just as good at being kings as men are."
Since making her off the cuff remark, the internet has gone wild with the news of what Kate and William would be calling their first born, should it be a girl.
"I had Elizabeth on a bet and I've just won six hundred quid," said seasoned gambler, Prince Phillip.