Written by IainB
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Thursday, 13 October 2011

image for Resident Evil: Retribution beset by problems
Resident Evil: Retributon will be the most realistic looking one yet

In the latest twist in the ongoing saga that is the fifth film in the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil: Retribution, half the cast were rushed to hospital in Toronto last night.

"We were filming a zombie scene," said stunt director, Nick Powell. "The platform they were on tilted, spilling zombies onto the film set floor some fifteen feet down."

Paramedics arrived on the scene quickly.

"It was an horrific site," said paramedic Amber Lance with a deliberate pun. "There was blood, gore and body parts strewn everywhere."

It took a team of paramedics twenty minutes to locate the injured people and assess their injuries.

"There wasn't one person on the set that didn't look horrifically injured," said Lance. "But thankfully, most of injuries peeled right off."

The accident is the latest in a long line of catastrophes that have some claiming that the latest film in the Resident Evil saga is cursed.

"We had a fire that nearly destroyed our main set," said Powell. "We managed to get the lead actors out before they were injured, but the same wasn't true for my pet dog."

It's not all bad news for the film. The injured zombies were back on the set this morning for more filming, although they needed much less make up.

"What can I say?" asked one zombie, Declan Posed. "I need the money, and extra work pays well."

Additionally, the fire on the set left the backdrop look tortured and destroyed, which was ideal for filming the film's last scene.

"All in all," said Powell, "we're not concerned about a curse."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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