Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

image for Hank Williams Jr. Spotted Snuggling Up To Amanda Knox At A Burger Bandit In Seattle
A photo of the Burger Bandit burger that Amanda was trying to eat while Hank Jr. was kissing on her.

SEATTLE - Hank Williams Jr. said he felt very strange not hollering out his usual Monday night "Are You Ready For Some Football" signature question on ESPNs Monday Night Football.

"Bocephus, as his daddy Hank Sr. nicknamed him, told Sports Territory's Ogelthorpe Ogeltree that after singing the intro to the Monday Night Football game for 20 years, he felt extremely empty inside not doing it.

He remarked that he kind of felt like what the stunningly gorgeous former Dancing With The Stars dancer Kristen Cavallari must have felt like when Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler suddenly and without any warning whatsoever dumped her.

Millions of men throughout the U.S. are wondering if Cutler is somewhat on the funny side or if he is just a victim of a cuckoo's nest mentality.

Ogeltree noted that Hank Jr., did issue a non-apology which the Sports Territory reporter pointed out is equal to a bank robber telling the police that the only reason he held up the bank was because it had money inside and that if there had not been any money inside he would not have even been in the damn bank much less held it up.

Meanwhile Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres stated that she received a call from one of her excellent unnamed sources who told her that Hank Jr. was spotted at at Burger Bandit in Seattle with none other than Amanda Knox of Italian prison fame.

Miss Zeppelin said that her source said that Hanky boy was all over Miss Knox like stink on a skunk.

She noted that Amanda could barely eat her hamburger due to the fact that Hank kept kissing her on the mouth. At one point Amanda actually had a piece of pickle taken out of her mouth by the obsessed singer.

After the two were reported by seven Burger Bandit patrons the manager asked Hank and Amanda to please wrap up the rest of their burgers and fries and get them to go.

He informed them that they were actually starting to traumatize some of the younger kids who were crying and asking their parents why the man in the weird hat, scruffy beard, and Paris Hilton sunglasses was trying to bite the woman he was with.

Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres will stay with the Hank Williams-Amanda Knox story and bring you any further 'juicy' developments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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