Written by K.C. Bell
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Monday, 10 October 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars Cancels Tuesday Performance For Republican Debate

President Obama canceled a joint session of congress for a Republican debate, so Dancing With The Stars will go black on Tuesday for Tuesday's debate.

Nancy Grace call this change "evil" insisting that she was all set to perform Swan Lake, (tutu and all) for her twins. She was reported to be livid: Pulling the plug on her performance was criminal! She predicted that the cancellation would turn Republicans to Democrats.

Hearing this possibility, Michele Bachmann suggested that perhaps the two could go on as scheduled having Dancing With The Stars running as a crawl on the lower half of the screen? "Yeah, no, maybe?"

The male Republican candidates rejected Backmann's idea, calling it: "A Palin whoop-de-do, glass half empty, nose bleed."

The "Man On Dog" candidate instantly rejected the Republican debate presented on top of the screen with the Dancing With The Stars performance on the bottom, calling it provocative. "Look at the picture it would make! I don't want my kids seeing that, or the kids of this nation."

The "Go To Hell" candidates said, "Who gives a damn?" The "Terminator" candidate, (the same one who made a fortune reorganizing companies by firing workers and raking in profits) said: "Let's pray together."

"Go to hell!" said the, "Go To Hell" candidate.

Things were getting a little heated. Majority Leader Bayonet had to step in brokering a compromise. Wearing a fresh layer of orange dip, he was immediately kicked aside by the hairpiece.

"I don't wear a hairpiece."

Kicked aside by the black hat.

"Tuesdays performance," he drawled in profile, "is half live with the winners selected in the second hour. Nancy Grace can still perform her Swan Lake for the twins the day before."

"Half live? Does that mean that the other half is dead? $#^&@!&^%, are you out of your minds? I don't want my kids seeing any necrophiliac performance running simultaneously on the crawl with the Republican debate."

"Kid, have a piece of pizza."

So while President Obama switched the date of a joint session of congress, Dancing With The Stars will perform on Tuesday as scheduled.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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