Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 8 October 2011

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Shuttlecock - Coming Soon To Your Telly! Heaven Forbid!

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today confirmed that he has been approached by a BBC producer, with an offer of a leading role in upcoming BBC sitcom, 'The Site.' It's thought that a handful of rather crap appearances on the upload yourself website prompted the producer to contact Shuttlecock with the offer.

The new sitcom centres on the trials and tribulations of a satirical website administrator, as he attempts to mediate with a bunch of over-inflated egomaniacs who pen shoddy stories for 'The Site.'

"They want me to play an idiot," Shuttlecock explained. "The idiot takes the whole thing way too seriously and starts stalking the administrator. Basically, the idiot just sits in his front room in front of a laptop, drinking beer, chain smoking, frenziedly typing out stories and howling at the moon in rampant frustration. Occasionally he holds aloft a copy of The Dorking Review, laughing insanely, and trying not to flick fag ash on the floor. It's nothing like me really."

A BBC spokesperson said that the Corporation was looking to restore working class humour to the forefront, along the lines of 'Til Death Us Do Part' and 'Steptoe And Son.' Apparently, Shuttlecock impressed BBC bigwigs with his impenetrable accent, his overlarge potato head, and his constant stream of repetetive nonsensical drivel. Another major factor was apparently Shuttlecock's absolute lack of any discernable acting talent, alongside his non-existent sense of timing.

Long suffering wife, Anne, had this to say:

"I can't believe they're putting my fuckwitted husband on the telly. They must be dafter than he is..."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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