Written by Big Stu
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Saturday, 8 October 2011

image for Keith Chegwin explodes
Keith Chegwin has his greatest moment in television.

While presenting an article on cooking asparagus for ITV's prime-time series This Morning, television presenter Keith Chegwin spontaneously combusted earlier today in what viewers have said was "a huge fireball". The asparagus was said to have been out of season.

The discovery first came to light when viewers noticed the asparagus had gone a little woody and should really have been used about a week before. Sources say it was bought from a greengrocer not normally used by This Morning who has insisted that all of his produce was fresh at the time of the incident.

This latest development has raised once again the questions about the use and availability of seasonal foods and whether or not food supplies and supermarkets should concentrate more on locally produced goods and should not rely on imports simply to meet demand.

Yvonne Gregg, of wholesaler Fresh Foods Ltd in Covent Garden, said today: "Supermarkets have an obligation to provide the customer with a wide range of foods but also have standards to meet with regard to food quality. If they stopped supplying fruit and vegetables that were out of season, consumers would adjust their diet accordingly."

This Morning executives were said to be deeply shocked by the incident today and have promised a full investigation. "We are not going to tolerate this. Asparagus has to be in season if it is to feature in one of our recipes and it will not happen again."

Chegwin was scraped off the wall and This Morning say will probably be presenting some other mindless twaddle they have for him later in the year.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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