HOLLYWOOD - The Friendly Skies may not be as friendly to Pan-Am, one of the new television season's shows, as the producers were hoping.
The ratings are not looking too good for the show set in the sky of the 1960s which centers around airplanes, pilots, lost luggage, and cookie-cutter Stepford stewardesses.
Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld spoke with the shows hair stylist FuFi Fondue who revealed that all of the cast and crew are as nervous as a nun in Lindsay Lohan's house.
Fondue remarked that in a bid to boost the ratings which are said to be sagging worse than Joan River's danglers (tits) the producers have asked Amanda Knox to appear in an episode.
A spokesperson for the Pan-Am series who refused to give his name stated that Miss Knox will portray Chloe Butterhill an American exchange student who travels to Florence, Italy to study the art of wine ingredients at Italy's famed Universita Vino Rosso (Red Wine University).
Miss Butterhill visits Venice where she somehow becomes involved in The Infamous Venitian Gondola Boat Oar Kickback Scandal. She is arrested and imprisoned due to the fact that she hired the worst lawyer in the entire country.
Italy's Legal Directory lists Cilantro Giuseppe Peckalini, Jr., as the only attorney out of 17,000 Italian lawyers who have never won a case. Peckalini's legal record as of October 6, 2011 stood at 0-173.
So as you can see, poor, little, misguided Chloe Butterhill found herself as the old cliché states, 'up the freakin creek without an effen paddle.'
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Amanda Knox decided to take the role of Chloe Butterhill so that she can help pay for her exorbitantly high attorney's fees, which according to iRumors are somewhere around the $4 million mark.]