Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 October 2011

image for Charlie Sheen Wants Amanda Knox To Be His Brand New "Goddess"
Charlie Sheen wearing a space helmet and a space suit that was given to him by astronaut Buzz Aldrin.

OXNARD, California - Charlie Sheen is still celebrating from his recent $25 million settlement which he received for being wrongly terminated from his role as Charlie Harper in the sit-com Two and A Half Men.

The "Space Cadet" as he is known recently traveled up to Oxnard to see about purchasing some land which he hopes to one day turn into a trailer park for retired television celebrities and retired baseball relief pitchers.

Sheen was asked by Dylan Fresco of Hollywood Vis-a-Vis about the rumor that he would like to have the recently released Amanda Knox become his new Goddess.

Charlie smiled like the Colombian cat that swallowed the Colombian canary and said that he figured that Mandy hasn't been around in a while and she needs someone to show her the ropes and who better to show her the ropes than a guy who owns at least a dozen ropes not to mention at least nine lassos as well.

Fresco asked Charlie if the didn't feel that at 34, maybe Amanda might be a little too old to be jumping into the role of a Charlie Sheen Goddess.

Sheen put down the bottle of Sangria Wine that he was drinking and remarked that he is at the point in his life where age, just like a fruit salad, is just merely a number.

The former "Tiger Blood Boy" went on to say that since he was fired from Two and A Half Men that he has learned many things and one thing is that you can call his old boss Chuck Lorre every horrible, vulgar, nasty name in the book but if you call him by his real Jewish name, which is Chaim Levine, he will explode like a mother effen volcano.

Bedroom Pillow Talk and iRumors are both reporting that Charlie Sheen has actually asked Miss Knox to move into Casa Jose Cuervo, his Mulholland Estate Mansion located in Sherman Oaks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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