Written by Big Stu
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Topics: Cheryl Cole, Cats

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

image for Sun asks: "Are Cheryl and Tiddles an item?"
Tiddles as seen in the role of superspy Juan Carlos in "Los Playboy del Catos" on Bolivian television

Cheryl Cole has again hit the headlines on the front page of The Sun today, following rumours that she has been having an illicit liason with failed asylum seeker Tiddles the Cat.

Tiddles first rose to fame when he was deported instead of his owner in a move that baffled many when it was announced at the Conservative Party Bun-Fight yesterday. Since his deportation, the feline fugitive has been interviewed by the Observer and has been cast as the lead in a major Hollywood film on his ordeal to be released next year. In his homeland of Bolivia, his plight has made Tiddles into a major celebrity. As well as his own primetime talk show, he has been hiven a starring role in the pantomime Dick Whittington, has presented the lottery draw and is also booked to switch on the Christmas lights some time in late January.

It was while in his role as suave superspy Juan Carlos in the Bolivian adventure series Los Playboy del Catos that he was first introduced to Cheryl who mistook the small domestic tabby cat for a dashing 22-year old Portugese footballer. Cheryl's friends have denied reports that they are now a couple or that it is yet another cheap publicity stunt to keep her in the public eye. "They are just very good friends, that's all."

Tiddles' friend Alfonso, who plays police Chief Javier in the show, was more retrospect on the alleged affair. "He's a cool cat with all a cat's passions and urges," said Alfonso. "And it's not as if it's the first time that some passionate cat felt like getting himself some fine young pussy."

When it was pointed out to Alfonso that Cheryl Cole was not a cat, he claimed it was a disgusting violation of nature and declined to be interviewed any further.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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