Written by Big Stu
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Topics: Susan Boyle, Titanic

Monday, 3 October 2011

image for SuBo denies resemblence to the Titanic
Police search for a 90-year old rusting steamer goes on.

Singer Susan Boyle has denied reports in today's Star that she was once mistaken for the wreck of the Titanic, stolen from the North Atlantic by scrap dealers last week then damaged in an episode of BBC's Top Gear.

The Star claims Ms Boyle, who was on stage in Brighton at the time, was taken to a nearby police station after the public were warned to be on the lookout for a fatigued 90-year old Edwardian steamer with collapsed decks, no funnels and showing chronic signs of rust around the bilges. The results of carbon-dating tests proved inconclusive and she was later released without charge with a full written apology by the East Sussex Constabulary.

Ms Boyle said: "They should get their facts straight before they go making assumptions. I kept telling them that I had no iceberg damage below the waterline but they wouldn't listen. It's a disgrace."

East Sussex police refused to comment on the claims.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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