Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 1 October 2011

image for The U.S. Senate Finally Agrees On Something - There Are Way Too Many Reality Singing Shows
American Idol's Kelly Clarkson shown performing at Malia Obama's birthday Party at the White House.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a surprising move that has even shocked President Obama word coming out of the hallowed halls of the United States Senate is that the Democratic and Republican dudes and dudesses who make lots of money and have fantastic benefits and the greatest retirement package in the history of retirement packages have finally agreed on something.

The D.C. Dispatch Diplomat is reporting that the thing that caused the bickering boys and girls to come together, as the Beatles once suggested, is the vast number of television's reality singing shows.

Senator Wagnermund Weissmeister [R-Idaho] stated, "A bunch of us old fogeys got together the other night at The Texas Cattle Stampede Steak House located near The Library of Congress and decided that we had all better agree on something and damn soon because the American people are starting to get quite pissed off big time."

He said that Senator Klondyke Cupidwater [D-Maine] suggested that they vote on giving themselves a bigger automotive fuel allowance. Senator Weissmeister quickly asked him if he had bumped his head on the way to the restaurant or what?

Senator Weissmeister remarked that the other day when he and his third wife, the much younger Olivia Charleen, 26, were watching television in the privacy of their $1.8 million home in Arlington that he realized that two of the networks were showing reality singing shows opposite each other.

He turned to his stunningly sensuous, semi-nude trophy wife (his words) and told her that the amount of reality singing shows was really getting out of hand.

He expressed to her that he had recently received thousands of emails, phone calls, and text messages from American voters saying that they are fed up with the saturation of reality singing shows on television.

The senator reminded his gorgeously sexy wife that the show that had started it all was American Idol. He then named off other similar shows including The Voice, The Sing Off, Karaoke Battle USA, Singing Bee, Majors and Minors, Hey I Got Your Song Right Here, and Simon Cowell's brand new edition X-Factor.

Senator Cupidwater then added that he had read in the supermarket tabloid Say What? that now the producer of So You Think you Can Dance, Nigel Lythgoe will soon be introducing yet another new reality singing show and this one is named So Who Wants To Be The Next Great Family Singing Group Eh?

He then noted that as if that isn't enough, the Epitome Network is working on a show titled Okay Now, 1,2,3, Sing Your Butt Off.

Senator Weissmeister is the author of The Weissmeister Reality Singing Show Senate Bill. The bill states that there will be an immediate freeze on any new reality singing shows.

Rhode Island's Republican senator Gunther Bellastitch even suggested that all of the singing reality shows be eliminated with the one exception of American Idol.

When he was asked by The D.C. Dispatch Diplomat why he would not eliminate American Idol as well he replied because it is the original reality singing show and the one that brings in the most revenue for the shows producers whom he casually pointed out just happen to be fellow Republicans.

In other news. The word on the streets of Maricopa, Arizona, where Bristol Palin lives, is that Bristol "The Pistol" is so pissed off at the things her mother allegedly did in the exposé book by Jebediah McGillicuddy that she has taken her Glen Rice autographed basketball that her mother had given her and tossed it in the trash can.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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