In a shock revelation, Dr Conrad (The Competent) Muller, Michael Jackson's trusted personal physician, has disclosed the whereabouts of Michael's olfactory organ.
Most observers and commentators believed that Jackson's nose had substantially disappeared just after he (Michael Jackson) achieved puberty. There is however, no medical evidence that the star ever did achieve puberty. Allegations of skin complaints previously attributed to acne are now confirmed as a minor infection contracted from protracted use of hydrogen peroxide.
But how were the nostrils discovered in one of the best ski resorts on the American continent?
Speaking from his 6.5 million dollar Winnebago located on a residential trailer park in downtown Buttfuck, Missouri, Dr Muller declared "I loved Michael and the salary he paid me. Why, this beautiful home you are sitting in was provided by only 2 months salary! I am desperate to continue this Fried Chicken Megabucket lifestyle and by all accounts, the book about my trial and execution should just about keep me in surgical anaesthetic for the next 40 years".
Michael Jackson's surgically mutilated nostrils are to be found at the bottom of Jackson Holes longest black ski-run, just at the point where it turns white.