David "I swum the Thames" Walliams has been reported as suffering from distemper caught from the Thames during his recent "middle eastern charity" swim.
Claims that he rescued a dog by trying to blow it up like an inflatable rubber ring cannot be denied (or confirmed) witnesses denied, but rumours that the air valve tasted a bit salty may be true.
No celebrities would comment because they don't like him, but Bruce Fivesythe did a little dance with Lionel Blair. Kenny Lynch is broke. And Jimmy Tarbuck, Billy Connelly and Michael Parkinson were too.
Max Clifford would comment, but then he would, wouldn't he.