Mr Philip Advert will find out today if his high court case against the BBC has been a success. Mr Advert took the company to the court in the Strand as part of a protest against their viewer policy.
Lawyers for Mr Advert claim their client was so bored by watching Downton Abbey that he ate his face and was therefore unable to watch any other programmes on his television. The only part of his head that worked was his ears, and because he had eaten his eyes he could not find the remote control and was unable to change channels.
Downton Abbey was repeated later that night which led to Mr Advert eating his right arm and left leg. He no longer has the ability to continue his career as a contortionist. We blame the BBC.
Lawyers for the BBC said they denied Downton Abbey was boring and would fight to clear the name of this government establishment. Mr Advert could have tuned into Radio 4 and listened to a very interesting Edwardian costume drama about Lord and Lady Grantham.
In reply, Lawyers for Mr Advert stated that their client was a traditionalist that trusted the BBC to provide interesting and informative television. It was not an issue that Mr Advert had been a patient of Broadmoore hospital for some years after being convicted of eating his entire family.
Judge Lady Sybil Grantham said she would reserve judgement after having to endure; "Life on earth" yet again.