Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for The Poster Adults For Tattoos Jesse James and Kat Von D's Relationship Is Once Again "Off-Again!"
Kat Von D shown getting her very first tattoo at the age of 14 from her grandmother Mazola "Crackers" Fiddlewick.

LONG BEACH - Many medical experts as well as entertainment news agency executives are seriously starting to wonder if perhaps having 30 times more tattoos than a normally tattooed person has something to do with the mental facility that deals with reasoning.

Jesse James and Kat Von D have broken up and gotten together more times than David Lee Roth and Van Halen.

After announcing earlier this year that they were getting married, the 'Inksters' suddenly broke up amid rumors that Kat Von D had insisted that Jesse get one of his I Love Sandra tattoos removed.

The "Sandra" is in reference to Jesse's ex-wife the sweet, naive, Hollywood starlet Sandra Bullock. Jesse reportedly told Kat that there was no way in the world that he was going to get that tattoo lasered off of his pecker.

The "Inky" couple then got together after Jesse bought Kat a Greatest Hits CD of her favorite 50s group The Ink Spots.

But the 'colorful' carnival-looking pair soon ended up "Off-Again" after Jesse told Kat that he wanted for her to go in and have her I Wanna Suck Paris Hilton's Face tattoo removed from her bikini line.

Von D said that she had already consented to his request that she go in and get her I Pine For LeAnn Rimes tattoo removed from her lower back.

And so now, the walking tattoo billboards as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree calls King Jesse James The Turd and Kat Von Dysfunctional, have once again decided to end their seemingly endless roller coaster ride from hell.

Dupree recently performed in New Orleans at The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club where he told the Bourbon Street audience that old Jesse, AKA "Dick With Feet" and old Kat Von D AKA "The Ink Minx" need to just go away and stay there.

The Tinsel Town Times Tribune is reporting that Jesse James is thinking about moving down to Tijuana, Mexico and opening up a used motorcycle parts shop and Kat Von D is searching for a traveling carnival whose sideshow is in need of a sexy tattooed lady.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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