Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 25 September 2011

image for Why Bill Clinton Turned Down Dancing with the Stars
Shall He Dance?

Here's the INSIDE scoop, not what the former president told the media -- that he was too busy. Yeah, right!

Apparently Clinton was ticked off when DWTS producers nixed his plan to do a cha-cha to "Hail to the Chief." When Clinton protested that this was not presidential treatment, he was told to put a sock in it, that he was merely a former president. Ouch!

Possible plans for a new feature (contestants to dance with some invited guests on the show) completely turned Clinton off. Especially when he heard that German Chancellor Angela Merkel and well-known feminist lawyer Gloria Allred were being considered as invited guest partners.

Both choices caused Clinton to quake in his boots, his dancing boots.

As he indicated to friends, "According to Forbes Magazine, that Merkel dame is the most powerful woman in the world. I wouldn't have a chance to take the lead on the dance floor. She'd be leading me around by the nose."

As for Gloria Allred, Clinton pointed out that she sues just about every man in sight. Poor Bill fessed up to his fear: "She'd sue the pants off me if I happened to step on her feet once or twice on the dance floor. I couldn't risk it. No thanks."

DWTS producers are moving on to other choices and are fairly confident that they can snag other famous folks in the world of U.S. politics. President Barack Obama and presidential candidate Ron Paul are front runners for guest slots.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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