Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Howard Stern, Dollar

Wednesday, 4 January 2006

image for Howard Stern booted off Sirius Satellite

"Mom and I had NO idea that Howard Stern had such a POTTY mouth" said Sirius Radio's CEO adding, "How come nobody told me BEFORE I signed that half billion dollar contract folks?" Not only did Stern plunge from the heavens but so did also tumble 11 high level Sirius Radio executives for hiding from their CEO and his mom the pure potty mouthed bawdiness of the King of all Media, Howard Stern.

"I thought Howard did a home improvement show" Marge Karmazin, mother of Sirius's CEO told reporters. She said,

"Every time I would walk by the TV, catch a quick glimpse of Howard he was ALWAYS talking about plugging holes and unclogging drains and unclamping clamped fixtures so naturally me and my son thought .. HEY .. let's bring Howard on-board the satellite. On-board Sirius."

Howard Stern after falling to earth MINUS half a billion dollars had a few words for reporters ..

STERN -> What the livin ****?! Hey! YOU! WHAT the livin ****?! You there .. teleprompter babe? That top of yours. Can you lift it up for me? Slowly, slowly, THERE that's it, there you go, THERE you go YEAHH!!!!! .. WHAT the livin **** .. that .. that Sirius CEO and his MUM dumping me I'm take'n em BOTH ***'n OUT, coffee lady? You ever slept butt NAKED with an old long haired KING of all Media TALK to me Kiss kiss hey, REPORTER lady .. look at THIS .. (zip) TELL me you don't want THIS Oscar Meyer stuffed down your .."

Lawyers for Howard Stern say that the King of all media is planning to sue Sirius Satellite for not only 1 trillion dollars but it's rocket, it's satellite and all the SPACE in the orbit it's in above the earth as well.

Lawyers for Sirius Radio say that Stern is a "Potty Mouth" and are going to make sure that the "Potty Mouth" never works either on or ABOVE this planet again.

Stocks in Sirius Radio remained steady. Stocks in XM Radio rose sharply.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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