Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 24 September 2011

image for Sarah Palin Says The New Book About Her Is All Lies - Todd Palin Says He May Be Kissing "Snowflake" Goodbye
Todd Palin and fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka hold the Alaskan team record for catching 167 salmon within a 12-hour period.

WASILLA, Alaska - Noted author Jebediah McGillicuddy rented the house next door to Todd and Sarah Palin's home Casa Moscow.

The author spent three months doing research and interviewing over 200 Wasilla residents while gathering up information for his book titled, Gosh Darnit It Looks Like Old "Snowflake" Palin Better Toss All Her 2012 T-Shirts in The Freakin Trash Can Gee Willikers You Betcha.

McGillicuddy, who is best noted for his award winning book President Abraham Lincoln and How He Was So Easily Able To Corner The Lincoln Log Industry, says that on several occasions, as he sat quietly on his second story deck, he could actually hear Sarah referring to him as "The old codger," "The old geezer," and on two occasions "The old reindeer molester."

The author noted that one late afternoon, as he was watching the Weather Channel, nine-year-old Piper threw a dead salmon over the fence and it landed on the deck right beside his cat Mr. Puffy Puff.

McGillicuddy quickly picked up the dead salmon before Mr. Puffy Puff could get to it and he threw it back toward the Palin's house and it landed on one of the Palin's official state of Alaska lawn chairs.

Sarah was asked by Taffeta Kixx of iRumors if the rumors about her and the black basketball player who played for Our Lady of The Dog Mushers College in Anchorage were true.

Palin remarked that the chapter about her and the 19-year-old 6-foot-8-inch tall LeFonzo Cottonweiser, who was known by the nickname of "Sequoia Tree," getting together in motel room 3 at Wasilla's Purple Polar Bear Motel were totally false.

"Snow Plow" as her teenaged middle daughter Willow calls her, also pointed out that the part about her and LeFonzo parking out by the Nanook of The Frozen North High School football stadium at 2 a.m. was also fabricated.

Miss Kixx asked Palin about the alleged midnight fishing trip that she and LeFonzo reportedly took to Lake Salmon Piss. Palin thought for a moment and then added that they did not ever go fishing out to Lake Salmon Piss because Cottonweiser had told her that he was allergic to fishing lures.

Kixx tried to contact Todd Palin but Sarah told him that he had gone up to Chickaloon to do some salmon fishing.

She was asked if he was up in Chickaloon with his very attractive, 28-year-old Eskimo-American fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka.

Mrs. Palin rolled her eyes and replied in a very bitterly sarcastic voice, "Yes Taffy, Toddy and Nanny are up in freakin Chickaloon effen fishing for friggin salmon okay?"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I managed to speak with longtime Wasilla resident Andrew Plonkerwood, who is a very close friend of Todd Palin and he told me off-the-record (oops) that in his opinion Toddy has had his fill of Sarah's petulant prima donna attitude and her domineering diva personality and he may be getting ready to kiss "Snowflake" goodbye.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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