CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - George Clooney and his new girlfriend former professional wrestler Stacy Keibler recently spent three days down in the land that comedian George Lopez calls Sunny Old Mexico.
Lopez was never too creatively original when it came to describing countries. He once called Italy, that boot-looking country and recently referred to Iceland as that big old iceberg place where ten pound bags of ice were invented.
Clooney and Keibler stayed at The Whole Enchilada Hotel and Spa where they spent most of the time in the privacy of their luxuriously exquisite hotel suite room 16, and doing some major vavavooming.
George recently ended a two year relationship with Italian model Elisabetta Canalis who is currently appearing as one of the celebrities on Dancing With The Stars.
When asked by Paco Del Taco with The Cabo San Lucas Morning Olé News why he had dumped Canalis he revealed that it was because she wanted to incorporate some rather ultra-modern strenuous Danish sexual acts into their intimate sex life.
Clooney confessed to Del Matador that he actually tried one of the Danish sex acts but that he got such a horrible cramp on his right leg that it took three days to fully go away.
He added that he has never been happier as he is now with Keibler whom he describes as being smart, shapely, and sexy. He then pointed out that Stacy, unlike most Hollywood starlets, is a fabulous cook.
He divulged that one day last week "Luvy Legs" as he affectionately calls her prepared him a dish of the best Chicken Fried Felican Ovaries that he had ever eaten.
Clooney said that Stacy got the secret recipe from her maternal grandmother Kewpie Sue "Noodles" Nuttywiggy who back in 1948 was named the queen of The Baltimore County Cornbread Bake Off with her entry of Stone Ground Possum Tonsil Flavored Diet Cornbread.
SIDENOTE: One thing about Stacy that George likes is the fact that she does not have any tattoos. Clooney says he is just an old-fashioned guy who believes that tattoos are for pirates, motorcyclists, and sports stars.