Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 21 September 2011

image for Dancing With The Stars: Ron Artest AKA Metta World Peace Is Sent Dribbling Back Home
A close up of Ron Artest, who is now known as Metta World Peace. (Photo courtesy of Lamar Odom).

HOLLYWOOD - TV Legal Commentator Nancy Grace and The Los Angeles Laker "Bad Boy of The Court" Ron Artest, who has legally changed his name to Metta World Peace, both found themselves in the bottom two of the first week of Dancing With The Stars.

Nancy Grace, at 4-feet-8-inches is the shortest of the twelve celebrities and Metta World Peace is the tallest at 6-feet-7-inches.

After Harry Connick, Jr., sang a medley of Boy George and The Culture Club songs which included "I'll Tumble 4 Ya," "Swishing To The Oldies," "Karma Chameleon," and "Lipstick Smudges On The Boxer Shorts" DWTS Co-Host Tom Bergeron announced that either Nancy Grace or Metta World Peace would be going home.

Yesterday during the dance competition the English Judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman had been especially harsh on Mr. MWP saying that it's a damn good thing he can play basketball because if he had to earn a living with his dancing he would have to go on food stamps.

Metta replied by telling Goodman that he has all the charm of a stale Fig Newton. He then added that he really should do something about getting his teeth fixed.

Goodman responded by asking "And what da bloody 'ell is wrong wiff me bloomin' teeth old chap?"

And Mr. World Peace answered, "Not a damn thing right now Skippy, but after da show you're chompers are gonna be all over da dance floor after I hit you in da mouth you John McCain-looking wrinkled old museum relic."

Bergeron stepped in and told both kids to settle down as he was getting ready to reveal who would be going home.

And after listening to the incessant boom boom boom music for 35 seconds Bergeron announced that the star going home would be Metta World Peace.

Right away one could hear the screams of anger coming from the Kardashian group in the audience which included the three sisters Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, along with Khloe's husband and Los Angeles Laker player and Metta World Peace teammate Lamar Odom.

After the show Odom was interviewed by Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors and asked to comment on his teammate being the first of the 12 stars to be eliminated.

Odom made no bones about the fact that his teammate had gotten eliminated because he was the only black contestant on this years show.

Odom's wife, Khloe said that she agreed with her husband Lamar, who also happens to be black like the basketball star formerly known as Ron Artest and other black Laker players like Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Andrew Bynum, Theo Ratliff, Shannon Brown, but not Luke Walton who is white and in fact is probably even whiter than the super white Nicole Kidman.

SIDENOTE: So Woody the Wonder Woodchuck who picked Nancy Grace to be the first to be eliminated from this years Dancing With The Stars competition missed it by one and he is now 0-1.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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