Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 29 September 2011

image for Vanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev, and Mila Kunis To Star In The Attack of The Naked Nocturnal Vampire Nymphos of Norway
Two unidentified movie extras who will be appearing in Bandini Borrapelli's new vampire movie. (Photo by Rick Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD - Lions Door Films in association with Hollywood Sign Pictures has announced that filming will soon begin on Bandini Borrapelli's motion picture The Attack of The Naked Nocturnal Vampire Nymphos of Norway.

The film which is based on the award-winning novel by noted Costa Rican author and banana plantation owner Don Donaldo Del Mucho Gusto, will star three of today's most popular young starlets Vanessa Hudgens, Nina Dobrev, and Mila Kunis.

Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk spoke with the three actresses and said that Vanessa Hudgens will star in the role of Pandora the Empress of the Provocatively Pompous Paramours.

Nina Dobrev will portray Martina the Goddess of the Melodious Macarena Mavens and Mila Kunis will appear as Sophia the Sorceress of the Sizzling Salivating Strumpets.

According to Miss Chipotle Kristen Stewart was originally supposed to have also appeared in the Borrapelli film but backed out due to the fact that she is currently just much too involved with her Twilight co-star boyfriend Rob Pattinson and their seemingly non-stop mattress merriment.

K-Stew told BPT that with the money she has made from the Twilight movies plus the sales of K-Stew memorabilia such as the Kristen Stewart Lunch Boxes, Kristen Stewart Designer Bras, and the Kristen Stewart Inflatable Doll she is pretty well off financially and turning down the $14 million she would have received for the movie is really no big deal.

Chipotle remarked that it must be nice and Stewart giggled and said that it certainly is. She smiled and added that just last year sales from her Kristen Stewart Silver Tongue Studs netted her $7.6 million.

K-Stew proudly announced that she is presently working out the details with Harley Davidson for The New Kristen Stewart Twilight 7,000 Super Charged Motorcycle which will be available in seven designer colors.

Meanwhile Bandini Borrapelli told BPT that the movie will actually be filmed on location in the Norwegian town of Fredrikstad, which is the town where in the year 1011 A.D. a band of viciously vile Vikings burned the town down to the ground, scooping up all of the ashes, and then spreading them in northern Poland.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes, I agree it sounds silly, but one has to remember that the Vikings were extremely heavy drinkers.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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