Written by jd Balderdash
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Topics: Monkey, Club

Monday, 2 January 2006

image for Live Grenade juggler ends career in a Bang!
Typical crowd, Saturday nights

Enrico Valdez, aka "Juggling Fool" went out with a BANG after 11 years of successfully juggling 3 fully armed live hand grenades before less than optimal crowds. Club owners would routinely plant Cabbage Patch dolls and clapping toy monkeys in the audience so that Juggling Fool THOUGHT he had a crowd which, for obvious reasons he did not.

One "live" human who once caught the late juggler's act said, "We arrived at the show. We wondered why we were the ONLY ones there except for some toys sitting a few rows back."

"Eventually " he said, "Juggling Fool comes on stage and .. pulls these 3 hand grenades out of his bag! Lisa and I didn't actually get to SEE Juggling Fool JUGGLE because by the time he started we were back in the car well on our way home."

Enrico Valdez first acquired the stage name, Juggling Fool back in 1994 when during a live performance at a comedy club in South Hartford suddenly without warning he pulled 3 live venomous coral snakes out of a bag and started juggling them.

"What the living HELL?!!" the club's owner recalls going before he had security yank Valdez off stage, out the door into the night, snakes and all.

"Juggling Fool!" the club owner remembers apologizing to the crowd. Somehow that title stuck. Everywhere Valdez played he was referred to as .. Juggling Fool.

Valdez's final performance Saturday at what used to be Denver City Comedy Club had a packed house of over 8 Cabbage Patch Dolls.

"The crowds don't show up much when Juggling Fool's on the program"
the former club's owner told reporters. He said,

"We let Valdez go on every month or so because .. my fault mine alone but it WAS good publicity having the only grenade juggler in town plus WE thought .. since he'd been successfully juggling those grenades for 11 years surely .."

Fire fighters at the scene of what is now "Club Rubble" are attempting to determine the cause of the entertainment malfunction. Some speculate that Valdez, perhaps seeing a larger than usual Cabbage Patch crowd decided to impress them by eating an apple .. while juggling 3 live grenades. Juggling Fool.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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