Written by Esmerelda11
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Monday, 12 September 2011

image for Posh Baby Dropped!
A Hat Like Daddy's!

In a horrifying incident early this morning in Los Angeles, USA, Victoria Beckham, formerly known as Posh Spice in a all-girl band named "The Spice Girls", which had several world wide number one hits and played many sold-out successful live venues and comprised five girl singers of various skin tones and hair colours - variety being the spice of life? lol - and which had notable hits such as "Wannabe" and the touching "Mama I Love You", erm, I've lost my train of thought. Where was I?

Ah yes. Posh Spice DROPPED HER BABY.

Clutching the little mite close to her silicone chest, Mrs. Beckahm let the infant slip through her hands, possibly due to the shiny material of the trendy little jump suit the babe was wearing.

It is possible that Mrs. B. saw a pair of sunglasses in a shop window and gasped at the diamond-encrusted frames, thus letting out air from her already slender frame so that there was little for the infant to cling to. Or she might have burped, with similar results.

Perhaps the truth of this awful, heart-wrenching moment, which has had the world holding its collective breath, will never be known, but world leaders have sent in messages of shock, sympathy and support.

World Leaders Offer Support

President Mugabe, of Zimbabwe, said that every baby is precious, every life in this world special, unless you are against him, when of course you would be so much sh-- under his rifle butt.

David Cameron expressed his horror at the Beckhams' pain in the nano-second it took for David to leap forward in a drop-tackle and catch Harper Seven on his soft trainer, neatly flipping her back into the air and into his arms. "Phew! Gosh!" said Mr. Cameron, at a press conference outside Number Ten. "That was a hart-stopping moment if ever there was one. I had to adjourn a Cabinet meeting."

Colonel Muarmar Gadaffi, from Somewhere in Libya, declared that he had utmost sympathy for the Beckhams. "I know what it is like to lose a little girl," he sobbed, his voice rather muffled by what seemed to be a lot of sand. "But be aware - she will come back, like my Hana, by some miracle of Allah's will!"

Poetry in Motion

Ex-Poet Laureate Andrew Motion offered this charming little rhyme for this occasion:

"Dearest Little Harper Seven -
I hope you are okay.
I hope you have not gone to Heaven,
For we need you with us now, today!"

So, thank goodness, all is indeed well that has ended well; and Victoria was seen later in the day in a babycare store, closely examining baby slings. The world can sleep the more easily tonight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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