Written by IainB
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Saturday, 27 August 2011

image for iToast4 launch delayed
An app for the iToast4 allows images to be drawn in the butter, this is Salvador Dali's Moonscape

The much anticipated iToast4 has been delayed due to a legal wrangle with the Dyson Cyclonic Toaster.

The iToast4 was meant to be the smartest, most useful, stylish toaster ever to make bread darker.

"It should have been the best thing since sliced bread," said Steve Kobs, the person set to take over Apple when Steve Jobs finally leaves the building after announcing he would be leaving the building. "It was our thinnest toaster yet coming in at just over the width of a very thin piece of bread. It weighed a miniscule thirty grammes, ran on solar power, played movies and we'd finally got it to link to iTunes let you download music appropriate to the item you were toasting. All this on top of the usual features such as internet alerts should you be in Ohio when your toast is done in Michigan."

Since the iToast3 opened up the iBread marketplace to third party suppliers who sold their first born to Apple, the iToast range has really taken off; with iCrumpets, iWaffles, iThin and iExtraThick all compatible with the latest iToasts.

However, Apple ran into trouble just prior to launch.

"It turns out that Dyson have patented the solar power toaster with their Dyson Cyclonic Toaster," said Kobs. "So we're kind of in limbo. The Dyson toaster is a good toaster, using ionic cyclonic air movement to toast the bread without any heat transfer that could burn your hands, but who wants cold toast? They had found a way to make it solar powered though and now the iToast4 is on hold while we untangle the patent infringement."

Apple insiders have indicated that the world's fifth largest company (after Ikea, IkeaOnline, IkeaDeliveries, IkeaTelephoneSupport and Dunkin Donuts), may concede to Dyson who don't even rank in the top one hundred companies, and pay them a licence for the solar power aspect. If this is the case, then expect the iToast4 to be hitting shops in time for Christmas retailing at around three hundred dollars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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