New York NY: The Stock Market crashed today as stocks and commodities went through the floor. The Stock Market, an upscale lunch bistro catering to financial district patrons, located at Wall and Broad Streets in lower Manhattan was a total wreck.
The bistro owners had been keeping pigs, cows and flour in the second floor loft above the eating area of the delicatessen because Swine and Pork (S&P) had downgraded the restaurants credit rating. By making pork sausage, bacon, beef pastrami, baking their own bread and growing vegetables on the roof the owners were hedging their bets on commodity prices rising.
NYFD officials on the scene indicated the added weight was just too much for the 100 year old factory building floors to handle. Luckily the catastrophe occurred at 9:20 AM, such that the restaurant was still closed to the 12:00 PM lunch crowd. Employees only incurred a few cuts and scrapes.