Latest figures show that brand new radio station 'White Noise' is proving very unpopular with its intended demographic audience.
The station, which broadcasts nothing but white noise, and the occasional burst of experimental German techno is aimed at insomniacs and unpleasant people that the station wants to show to the rest of the world.
Fred Turnip, the station manager told us: 'We cannot get anything right. We thought this would be a great way to get our message out there. We invested billions into this. We bought up every unused frequency on the radio, so when people here white noise, it is our talented engineers and programmes doing their work. Every time people turn the dial, it is us they here, but they soon move onto a voice, or a catchy piece of music that they have heard countless times before'.
A radio listener told us: 'I assumed it was just interference on my radio. I had no idea it was the work of someone with a science degree and letters after their name. I will have to listen a lot more carefully next time, won't I?'