Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Topics: Death, Coffins

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

image for Coffins R Us Opens Twenty New Stores
A Fully Loaded Coffins R Us Tomb

Tombstone, AZ-- For the company Coffins R Us, the economy is always booming. The newest marketing giant is doing for death what Walmart did for retailing, and it is changing everything about the dying business. Coffins are now a fun thing to buy, and Coffins R Us is opening 20 new stores in major cities around the country. Customers are being urged to buy what they want now, before it's too late.

The coffin business is much different than what it used to be. Gone are the days of cheap pine wood and boring boxes. Today's coffins are sleek, metallic, high-tech--and fun!

Coffins R Us offers many models of coffins to their customers, but says their URDead 3011 model is the most popular.

The URDead 3011 is loaded with all the latest gadgets and is guaranteed to make death a pleasure. The silvery coffin is set up with both WiFi and broadband, and has a liquid crystal screen at the head of the coffin. The URDead is equipped with Iphones, Ipads, Ipods, and there's room for anything else that may be invented in the next 1000 years.

All coffins sold by Coffins R Us are designed for today's very busy lifestyles and death-styles. The company believes death can be amusing, as long as the coffin is a fun place to rot away in.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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